Goodbye Cruel World
"Certain things should just stay the way they are. You ought
to be able to stick them in one of those big glass cases and
just leave them alone."
- "Holden Caulfield"
I am a grown up today. That moment is still vivid in my imagination, the moment
that decided the course of my life. Its almost four years now, time to bear
the fruit, time to take a look back and take stock, time to fly away. Bear with
me, dear reader, for it is natural for me to be a bit nostalgic. Ah, the days
of growing up are not forgotten so easily.
Decision having been made by a fateful moment, fortunately or unfortunately, I
landed in this hostel. The initiation was painful, but what a journey it has
been ever since. The wonder of learning has amazed me all the time. I have
learnt so much and so well that it would be next to impossible to unlearn it.
I was naive, I have learnt to be smart. I was so inwardly-drawn, I have learnt
to look around and learn from the world. I was so stubborn, I have learnt to
be flexible. As I take leave to go out and make my mark in the world, I leave
in debt. A debt that would be hard to repay. I leave with a wonderful set of
friends, friends forever. I leave with so much learning, that I realise
how much more I still have to learn. I leave with a sense of wonder at the
world that lies in front of me. I leave, a grown up. Oh, how much will I miss
this place.
But then, is that a such great thing really? There are times, when I look back at
whatever I have gained and compare it with what I have had to leave behind. It
is at such moments, that I am unable to shed an acute feeling of emptiness.
Accompanied with the growing up is the inevitable sense of loss. A sense of
having left something precious behind. I am ready to face the world in all its
wily ways, but I have lost my innocence. Somewhere deep down in my heart I still
wish I hadn't grown up.
